Family · Friendship · Personal · relationships

Old Friends

I’m feeling light-hearted today.  I and two friends from childhood have maintained our relationships for more than fifty years.  One lives relatively close.  We keep in touch but visit infrequently.

The other is steadfast.  She’s one of the few people that I don’t censor myself with (much).  We see one another’s strengths and one another’s weaknesses and all that’s in-between.  We make time for one another: visiting, planning events, taking trips together, and we don’t judge.

When she lived near the ocean on the Oregon coast, I had “my own” bedroom.  When she needs tech support or employment advice, I’m available.  Discouragement and venting stays in the friendship vault.    Late in our lives, my mom is her second mom.

We choose our friends and, with luck and some work, they form the family that lasts.  As my birth family grows smaller and more contentious, I value old friends all the more.

Ethics · Nature · Personal

Words To Live By

Aspirations are the only words worth living by because you are living up to then, but not living for them. You are still making choices yourself.

I try to act in line with who I want to be. I take that action and let go of the results. I do that because I can’t control the choices other people make and that always influences the outcome. Sometimes this is tiring. The temptation is to do what is easy and sometimes I do that because I’m certainly not perfect.

I try not to be pessimistic. My family indoctrination counts change as always dangerous rather than an opportunity. If someone helps, they always want something from you. If something could go wrong, it will. None of this promotes feelings of happiness or trust. I decided instead to give everyone and every situation a baseline of trust and let actions and events move that level up or down.

I choose to be independent, relying first on myself and only then on trusted people or social or government supports. “Better to plan for the worst and hope for the best.” My sense of belonging to groups is minimal and measured.

I care about justice, equity and fairness. I don’t believe in scarcity. For example, raising service workers to a living wage isn’t a referendum on my wages, my profession or my life choices. I’m a “progressive.”

Finally, I care about life. Sometimes fishermen need to take a hit to save the salmon. Life, living things and the planet all have intrinsic value beyond their usefulness to humanity. When we forget that, the ecosystem will correct for our hubris.